The Lord directs the steps of the godly.
He delights in every detail of their lives.
Though they stumble, they will never fall,
for the Lord holds them by the hand.
Psalm 37:23-24
I've been in need of encouragement lately and this is what I found. Or rather, what found me.
I've been bitter. Very bitter.
And resentful.
And I hate it. It keeps me from being happy for those around me and their blessings. Blessings that I prayed they would receive.
I struggle more often than I would care to admit to remember that I am exactly in the place that God means for me to be. I didn't screw up, I didn't wander off my path. God meant for me to be here. In this place. He has blessed me here, more than I could have imagined, more than I deserve.
And yet I still ask what I did wrong. What oportunities I missed. Why it isn't me.
Jealousy is an evil beast and the narcissistic nature of our society makes it even harder to overcome.
I've caught myself blaming others. And that's not fair. This is my demon to fight. I can turn off my cell, close facebook, and pick up my Bible.
And when I forget that, a psalm shows up on my computer screen reminding me that though I stumble, He has me by the hand.
Showing posts with label Faith. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Faith. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Friday, July 29, 2011
A light unto my path
There's something about a lighthouse that inspires me.
Standing silently; providing a beacon.
Protecting. Guiding. Warning.
The Lord is my light and my salvation - whom shall I fear?
Psalm 27:1
I took these pictures a few weeks ago in OBX. The first is Cape Hatteras Lighthouse, the other is Bodie Island Lighthouse.
Standing silently; providing a beacon.
Protecting. Guiding. Warning.
The Lord is my light and my salvation - whom shall I fear?
Psalm 27:1
I took these pictures a few weeks ago in OBX. The first is Cape Hatteras Lighthouse, the other is Bodie Island Lighthouse.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Deep. Breaths.
I had a really horrifying day yesterday. It felt like the culmination of a lot of things just going wrong. And a lot of really bad, random things happening to me. It ended with one of those moments where I look around me and wonder if I've ruined my life and the oportunities I've been given. Where I wonder how I got here so quickly when things were going so well just a few short weeks ago. And how do I make this downward spiral stop? Can I correct this?
Without revealing the really personal stuff that made yesterday horrifying, please let me just say that no, I was not overrreacting. Bad, bad things. All made worse by the fact that I forgot that I don't have to handle everything on my own. In fact, I shouldn't. And so, I have no answers, no resolutions, and only a few paltry plans to fix what is fixable and handle what is not, but I have peace because I put it in God's hands. I climbed back on the wagon. Said my prayers, gave thanks, and praised His name.
And I opened my Bible. Psalm 103 is where I found myself.
Psalm 103
Of David.
1 Praise the LORD, my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
2 Praise the LORD, my soul,
and forget not all his benefits—
3 who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
4 who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
5 who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
6 The LORD works righteousness
and justice for all the oppressed.
7 He made known his ways to Moses,
his deeds to the people of Israel:
8 The LORD is compassionate and gracious,
slow to anger, abounding in love.
9 He will not always accuse,
nor will he harbor his anger forever;
10 he does not treat us as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities.
11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
12 as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
13 As a father has compassion on his children,
so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;
14 for he knows how we are formed,
he remembers that we are dust.
15 The life of mortals is like grass,
they flourish like a flower of the field;
16 the wind blows over it and it is gone,
and its place remembers it no more.
17 But from everlasting to everlasting
the LORD’s love is with those who fear him,
and his righteousness with their children’s children—
18 with those who keep his covenant
and remember to obey his precepts.
19 The LORD has established his throne in heaven,
and his kingdom rules over all.
20 Praise the LORD, you his angels,
you mighty ones who do his bidding,
who obey his word.
21 Praise the LORD, all his heavenly hosts,
you his servants who do his will.
22 Praise the LORD, all his works
everywhere in his dominion.
Praise the LORD, my soul.
And even though I have no answers, I know God has a plan. I just need to remember to ask for directions. And look to Him for answers.
Without revealing the really personal stuff that made yesterday horrifying, please let me just say that no, I was not overrreacting. Bad, bad things. All made worse by the fact that I forgot that I don't have to handle everything on my own. In fact, I shouldn't. And so, I have no answers, no resolutions, and only a few paltry plans to fix what is fixable and handle what is not, but I have peace because I put it in God's hands. I climbed back on the wagon. Said my prayers, gave thanks, and praised His name.
And I opened my Bible. Psalm 103 is where I found myself.
Psalm 103
Of David.
1 Praise the LORD, my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
2 Praise the LORD, my soul,
and forget not all his benefits—
3 who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
4 who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
5 who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
6 The LORD works righteousness
and justice for all the oppressed.
7 He made known his ways to Moses,
his deeds to the people of Israel:
8 The LORD is compassionate and gracious,
slow to anger, abounding in love.
9 He will not always accuse,
nor will he harbor his anger forever;
10 he does not treat us as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities.
11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
12 as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
13 As a father has compassion on his children,
so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;
14 for he knows how we are formed,
he remembers that we are dust.
15 The life of mortals is like grass,
they flourish like a flower of the field;
16 the wind blows over it and it is gone,
and its place remembers it no more.
17 But from everlasting to everlasting
the LORD’s love is with those who fear him,
and his righteousness with their children’s children—
18 with those who keep his covenant
and remember to obey his precepts.
19 The LORD has established his throne in heaven,
and his kingdom rules over all.
20 Praise the LORD, you his angels,
you mighty ones who do his bidding,
who obey his word.
21 Praise the LORD, all his heavenly hosts,
you his servants who do his will.
22 Praise the LORD, all his works
everywhere in his dominion.
Praise the LORD, my soul.
And even though I have no answers, I know God has a plan. I just need to remember to ask for directions. And look to Him for answers.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Coincidence... I think NOT.
I had a chemistry teacher in high school who would use this phrase every time science would point to God. Such as the law of matter... which can neither be created nor distroyed. Big bang? I think not. Only enough moon dust for the Earth to be as old as the Bible says it is... Coincidence? Again, I think not.
I find myself thinking of this phrase when coincidences - both little and big - show up in my life.
I was rearended last fall. Not a big deal. Just needed a new bumper. Had the estimate. Received a check for the repairs. But for some reason I was really dragging my feet with getting my car in the shop. I just didn't want to deal with it.
Last week I finally broke down and made the apointment and reserved a rental. Enterprise was running at $9.99/day special for weekend compact car rentals. Wow. I like that price. I was kind of excited about this; kind of brightened my outlook on the situation.
Sooo... I drop my car off and walk over to the rental office and the little man behind the counter tells me he doesn't have any compact cars. There goes the wind in my sails. He asks if I can come back later. Ummmm... no. No I can't. They just pulled my car into the garage. He makes a call to an office nearby. They don't have anything to send over. The smallest he has is a truck. I told him I didn't want to pay for a truck rental. He tells me he'll give it to me for the compact price since he doesn't have anything else. I like the sounds of this. So, I'm picturing basic truck. Basic small truck. But a truck. Which is exciting to this country girl. We go outside to do a walk-around and what is waiting for me?
This....
Wooohooooo! Now this. This is going to be fun.
You see, I had ordered bare roots roses while I was home for Christmas. They were delivered Friday morning. The box stating, "to be planted immediately." Again my procrastination gets me. I have not done the work to prepare for these roses. I had wonderful plans of a rose bed. Had I so much as looked at a spade? Nope. And now I was in a jam.
Must rent tiller. Must buy top soil. Must by manure... or poo-in-a-bag :) This is going to be fun in a rented compact car. I was invisioning a whole lot of careful tarping of the trunk of a smart-car sized vehicle and prayed that the back seats would fold down.
And well, you've already read how the story turned out. Coincidence? I think not. God had a plan. And my procrastination was part of it. Procrastination on the repairs. Procrastination on the gardening. All of it. God lined it all up so that on the exact weekend the rose bushes showed up I had a truck rental for the price of a compact car and amazing sunny weather.
God is good. He is so good.
He is the Great Logistician. (They left that one out of the Bible, but I'm writing it in the book of Anna)
One tiller, three bags top soil, one bale peat moss, two bags-o-poo, and four and a half yards of mulch. It was a lovely weekend.
I find myself thinking of this phrase when coincidences - both little and big - show up in my life.
I was rearended last fall. Not a big deal. Just needed a new bumper. Had the estimate. Received a check for the repairs. But for some reason I was really dragging my feet with getting my car in the shop. I just didn't want to deal with it.
Last week I finally broke down and made the apointment and reserved a rental. Enterprise was running at $9.99/day special for weekend compact car rentals. Wow. I like that price. I was kind of excited about this; kind of brightened my outlook on the situation.
Sooo... I drop my car off and walk over to the rental office and the little man behind the counter tells me he doesn't have any compact cars. There goes the wind in my sails. He asks if I can come back later. Ummmm... no. No I can't. They just pulled my car into the garage. He makes a call to an office nearby. They don't have anything to send over. The smallest he has is a truck. I told him I didn't want to pay for a truck rental. He tells me he'll give it to me for the compact price since he doesn't have anything else. I like the sounds of this. So, I'm picturing basic truck. Basic small truck. But a truck. Which is exciting to this country girl. We go outside to do a walk-around and what is waiting for me?
This....
Wooohooooo! Now this. This is going to be fun.
You see, I had ordered bare roots roses while I was home for Christmas. They were delivered Friday morning. The box stating, "to be planted immediately." Again my procrastination gets me. I have not done the work to prepare for these roses. I had wonderful plans of a rose bed. Had I so much as looked at a spade? Nope. And now I was in a jam.
Must rent tiller. Must buy top soil. Must by manure... or poo-in-a-bag :) This is going to be fun in a rented compact car. I was invisioning a whole lot of careful tarping of the trunk of a smart-car sized vehicle and prayed that the back seats would fold down.
And well, you've already read how the story turned out. Coincidence? I think not. God had a plan. And my procrastination was part of it. Procrastination on the repairs. Procrastination on the gardening. All of it. God lined it all up so that on the exact weekend the rose bushes showed up I had a truck rental for the price of a compact car and amazing sunny weather.
God is good. He is so good.
He is the Great Logistician. (They left that one out of the Bible, but I'm writing it in the book of Anna)
One tiller, three bags top soil, one bale peat moss, two bags-o-poo, and four and a half yards of mulch. It was a lovely weekend.
Friday, February 18, 2011
God's got me.
The other day I was reminded just how far I've come in the last couple of years.
I recently celebrated my two year anniversary at my current workplace. Prior to this I had several 11-month stints on my resume but seemed to be unable to hit even the one year mark.
February 2, 2009, I accepted a possition as a receptionist. I was so desperate for health insurance I would have taken a job sweeping floors and cleaning potties. Penn State degree or not. I was willing to do just about anything.
Once on the job I realized my salary wasn't going to stretch very far. I had to keep my job bartending. Soon I found out I needed to pick up a third job as well. I was struggling to pay my bills. There wasn't any money left over to buy groceries. I found myself working three jobs all while going to grad school part time. Looking back, I really don't know how I did that. I know that I couldn't have done it if God hadn't been right by my side.
There were a couple of months where I had $40 for groceries. That's only $1.33 a day. But I did not go hungry. I had food. I had real food. Three meals a day. God. And a lot of dollar store pasta.
By September of 2009, a possition was created for me in the finance department and I was promoted to Assistant Financial Anaylist. And given a 30% pay raise. I was making so little to start with that it really didn't add up to much more. But, I was able to quit bartending and only wait tables on weekends. I was down to two jobs and grad school part time. But somehow the bills were now getting paid, credit card balances were decreasing at steady rates, and I had money to eat. I was even saving a little.
February 2010 I bought my house. I bought a house making $13.25/hour. And my mortgage ended up being 2/3 of what I had been paying in rent. God. Totally God. Totally and amazingly God. Because I'm not house poor. I live in a 4 bedroom/1.5 bath cape cod with a large yard and a detached garage. That I can afford. Making what most would consider absolutely no money.
I had many friends tell me that they wouldn't do the work I did for the money I made. I went to Penn State for crying out loud. And then I bought my house. And they said they didn't know how I did it. And told me they still wouldn't work for what I was making. And all I could think to myself was, if I wasn't doing this, I'd be living at home with mom and dad without a job. In northern Pennsylvania where there are no jobs to be had. Like many of my friends had for quite a while after graduation. Because they wouldn't work for what I was making.
January 1, 2011, I was promoted to Financial Analyst. And finally received a decent salary. A 36% raise.
In two years with this company I've received two promotions and two raises at larger percentages than most people ever see. That does not happen. God made that happen. Because I've prayed. And I've tythed. And I've worked my bum off. And I've cried. And I've been frustrated. And I've continued to pray. And continued to give thanks. And continued to work hard.
I'm still underpaid. But I have more than most who make twice what I have. Because God taught me humility. And He taught me frugality. And he taught me the value of hard work. Even if that hard work means three jobs and grad school.
God's got me. He's working on me. And the blessings are amazing. My cup runneth over.
I recently celebrated my two year anniversary at my current workplace. Prior to this I had several 11-month stints on my resume but seemed to be unable to hit even the one year mark.
February 2, 2009, I accepted a possition as a receptionist. I was so desperate for health insurance I would have taken a job sweeping floors and cleaning potties. Penn State degree or not. I was willing to do just about anything.
Once on the job I realized my salary wasn't going to stretch very far. I had to keep my job bartending. Soon I found out I needed to pick up a third job as well. I was struggling to pay my bills. There wasn't any money left over to buy groceries. I found myself working three jobs all while going to grad school part time. Looking back, I really don't know how I did that. I know that I couldn't have done it if God hadn't been right by my side.
There were a couple of months where I had $40 for groceries. That's only $1.33 a day. But I did not go hungry. I had food. I had real food. Three meals a day. God. And a lot of dollar store pasta.
By September of 2009, a possition was created for me in the finance department and I was promoted to Assistant Financial Anaylist. And given a 30% pay raise. I was making so little to start with that it really didn't add up to much more. But, I was able to quit bartending and only wait tables on weekends. I was down to two jobs and grad school part time. But somehow the bills were now getting paid, credit card balances were decreasing at steady rates, and I had money to eat. I was even saving a little.
February 2010 I bought my house. I bought a house making $13.25/hour. And my mortgage ended up being 2/3 of what I had been paying in rent. God. Totally God. Totally and amazingly God. Because I'm not house poor. I live in a 4 bedroom/1.5 bath cape cod with a large yard and a detached garage. That I can afford. Making what most would consider absolutely no money.
I had many friends tell me that they wouldn't do the work I did for the money I made. I went to Penn State for crying out loud. And then I bought my house. And they said they didn't know how I did it. And told me they still wouldn't work for what I was making. And all I could think to myself was, if I wasn't doing this, I'd be living at home with mom and dad without a job. In northern Pennsylvania where there are no jobs to be had. Like many of my friends had for quite a while after graduation. Because they wouldn't work for what I was making.
January 1, 2011, I was promoted to Financial Analyst. And finally received a decent salary. A 36% raise.
In two years with this company I've received two promotions and two raises at larger percentages than most people ever see. That does not happen. God made that happen. Because I've prayed. And I've tythed. And I've worked my bum off. And I've cried. And I've been frustrated. And I've continued to pray. And continued to give thanks. And continued to work hard.
I'm still underpaid. But I have more than most who make twice what I have. Because God taught me humility. And He taught me frugality. And he taught me the value of hard work. Even if that hard work means three jobs and grad school.
God's got me. He's working on me. And the blessings are amazing. My cup runneth over.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Chest of Joash
When God says give, the response should always be, "yes Lord, how much?"
My church does a Chest of Joash collection every year at Christmas time. I'll be honest, I don't know the background to this giving. If I didn't have marketing notes staring me in the face for tomorrows final, I'd google it for you. Sorry. But this offering is used for specific special needs the church has. This year the offering is going toward a new bus for the church, church publications, a donation towards a car for a missionary family we support, and some needs for the children's ministry. The offering was collected this past Sunday.
Last Sunday fell in the middle of a pay period for me. And I'll be honest, things are tight. I'm frantically trying to dig my way out of my credit card debt accumulated nearly 3 years ago and pay cash for Christmas and oh, you know, keep the lights on and the mortgage paid. Same song and dance in nearly every household across America. I'm just trying to do the best I can with what I have. And God, He knows. He knows I'm broke. I'm not poor. He provides all my needs. But the piggy bank, he's pretty hungry.
So anyway, last Sunday. Chest of Joash. Lord, I have no money. I have a little money. I don't have much. Is this an offering I need to make? Can I offer my time instead? Can I give clothes, shoes, whatever to someone who needs them instead? Is there something else you would like me to give? Cuz Lord, I haven't got much. If you need me to give, let me know. Let me know how much. Cuz Lord, if you need me to give, and you tell me to give, and you give me an amount, well, I know I can afford it if you say so.
And I waited. While the pastor touched hearts and loosened purse strings with his message. He's pretty awesome. God uses him to fix the things in my life that need a little extra attention. And I was waiting. Waiting for God to tell me what to do. The whole service. Waiting. Listening. God just let me know. Waiting. And then the pastor calls the ushers forward to start guiding people to the front to place their envelopes in the chest.
Can I just tell you my whole body started shaking and I couldn't reach for my checkbook fast enough? And as I'm filling out the blanks in the check I'm asking, Lord how much? 30? Not enough. 50? Not enough. 100? Peace. The shaking stopped. God grabbed me, got my checkbook out, and then left the rest for me. He doesn't make us give. But if you aren't sure there's a need, if you aren't sure you can afford it, ask. He answers. I didn't actually hear a word. But sometimes, you just know that you know that you know. That's the Holy Spirit. And I wrote that check. Knowing that even if God leaves me with $6 in savings... He won't leave me needing more.
My church does a Chest of Joash collection every year at Christmas time. I'll be honest, I don't know the background to this giving. If I didn't have marketing notes staring me in the face for tomorrows final, I'd google it for you. Sorry. But this offering is used for specific special needs the church has. This year the offering is going toward a new bus for the church, church publications, a donation towards a car for a missionary family we support, and some needs for the children's ministry. The offering was collected this past Sunday.
Last Sunday fell in the middle of a pay period for me. And I'll be honest, things are tight. I'm frantically trying to dig my way out of my credit card debt accumulated nearly 3 years ago and pay cash for Christmas and oh, you know, keep the lights on and the mortgage paid. Same song and dance in nearly every household across America. I'm just trying to do the best I can with what I have. And God, He knows. He knows I'm broke. I'm not poor. He provides all my needs. But the piggy bank, he's pretty hungry.
So anyway, last Sunday. Chest of Joash. Lord, I have no money. I have a little money. I don't have much. Is this an offering I need to make? Can I offer my time instead? Can I give clothes, shoes, whatever to someone who needs them instead? Is there something else you would like me to give? Cuz Lord, I haven't got much. If you need me to give, let me know. Let me know how much. Cuz Lord, if you need me to give, and you tell me to give, and you give me an amount, well, I know I can afford it if you say so.
And I waited. While the pastor touched hearts and loosened purse strings with his message. He's pretty awesome. God uses him to fix the things in my life that need a little extra attention. And I was waiting. Waiting for God to tell me what to do. The whole service. Waiting. Listening. God just let me know. Waiting. And then the pastor calls the ushers forward to start guiding people to the front to place their envelopes in the chest.
Can I just tell you my whole body started shaking and I couldn't reach for my checkbook fast enough? And as I'm filling out the blanks in the check I'm asking, Lord how much? 30? Not enough. 50? Not enough. 100? Peace. The shaking stopped. God grabbed me, got my checkbook out, and then left the rest for me. He doesn't make us give. But if you aren't sure there's a need, if you aren't sure you can afford it, ask. He answers. I didn't actually hear a word. But sometimes, you just know that you know that you know. That's the Holy Spirit. And I wrote that check. Knowing that even if God leaves me with $6 in savings... He won't leave me needing more.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)