Deep. Breaths.

I had a really horrifying day yesterday. It felt like the culmination of a lot of things just going wrong. And a lot of really bad, random things happening to me. It ended with one of those moments where I look around me and wonder if I've ruined my life and the oportunities I've been given. Where I wonder how I got here so quickly when things were going so well just a few short weeks ago. And how do I make this downward spiral stop? Can I correct this?

Without revealing the really personal stuff that made yesterday horrifying, please let me just say that no, I was not overrreacting. Bad, bad things. All made worse by the fact that I forgot that I don't have to handle everything on my own. In fact, I shouldn't. And so, I have no answers, no resolutions, and only a few paltry plans to fix what is fixable and handle what is not, but I have peace because I put it in God's hands. I climbed back on the wagon. Said my prayers, gave thanks, and praised His name.

And I opened my Bible. Psalm 103 is where I found myself.

Psalm 103
Of David.
1 Praise the LORD, my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
2 Praise the LORD, my soul,
and forget not all his benefits—
3 who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
4 who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
5 who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

6 The LORD works righteousness
and justice for all the oppressed.

7 He made known his ways to Moses,
his deeds to the people of Israel:
8 The LORD is compassionate and gracious,
slow to anger, abounding in love.
9 He will not always accuse,
nor will he harbor his anger forever;
10 he does not treat us as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities.
11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
12 as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

13 As a father has compassion on his children,
so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;
14 for he knows how we are formed,
he remembers that we are dust.
15 The life of mortals is like grass,
they flourish like a flower of the field;
16 the wind blows over it and it is gone,
and its place remembers it no more.
17 But from everlasting to everlasting
the LORD’s love is with those who fear him,
and his righteousness with their children’s children—
18 with those who keep his covenant
and remember to obey his precepts.

19 The LORD has established his throne in heaven,
and his kingdom rules over all.

20 Praise the LORD, you his angels,
you mighty ones who do his bidding,
who obey his word.
21 Praise the LORD, all his heavenly hosts,
you his servants who do his will.
22 Praise the LORD, all his works
everywhere in his dominion.

Praise the LORD, my soul.

And even though I have no answers, I know God has a plan. I just need to remember to ask for directions. And look to Him for answers.