Wedding planning is not easy.

And ladies, we need to stop making it hard on brides-to-be.

***Pardon me, while I step onto my soapbox***

Category 1: The married women out there

You had your day. Whether it went exactly like you always imagined or you would do it entirely different if you had the chance. You still had your day. End of story. You're thoughts, ideas, and help are all appreciated. But please. Please. Do not make a bride-to-be feel that her hopes and dreams and plans are in any way wrong because they aren't what you would want if you had your day to plan again. You had your day. If you want a do-over, plan a vow renewal. Do not live vicariously through whatever bride-to-be is most convenient at the moment.

Category 2: The unmarried women out there

Celebrate with the bride-to-be that she has finally gotten a chance to have her day. Don't resent her luck. Don't try to steal her thunder. I know its hard to watch someone close to you as she plans her wedding when you feel like you may never have your turn. I've been there. I'm one of the last of my girlfriends to get married. Don't let the bride-to-be know its hard for you. Celebrate with her.

Category 3:

The haters They will obviously fall into one of the first two categories. Say congratulations. Ask to see the ring. Tell her its lovely. Smile and walk away. Behave like the lady your grandmother hoped you would be.

I have been absolutely appalled by the behavior of the women in my life. Appalled. Friends, family, acquaintances, colleagues, just absolutely appalled. I can count on one hand the women whose reactions to my engagement and wedding planning have not been hurtful in some way, and still have fingers left.

Ladies, do the brides-to-be in your life a favor, be happy for them and support their dreams for their big day. Fake it if you have to. But please, be happy and supportive.